Hi, my name is Lu. Let's talk.
I don’t like conversations where each person is waiting eagerly for the other to finish so they can talk again.
I don’t like conversations where each person’s mission is to convince the other person they are wrong.
I don’t like conversations where derogatory names are called, or slurs are spoken, or where a person is ‘cancelled’ as soon as it becomes apparent that their opinion differs from the speaker’s.
My husband and I used to do this. Each of us would think we had the exact right option/opinion/idea about whatever we were discussing. It took years before we both realized that by listening thoughtfully to each other, exploring and asking questions about the other’s thoughts and proposals- we came up with great ideas!
My ideas likely differ from yours. They may be slightly different, or they may be radically different. I think I’m offering the best solutions, and you are convinced that your solutions are the greatest.
Is this an impasse, a time to ‘cancel’ you because I don’t see eye-to-eye with you about all of this, whatever ‘this’ is at the time?
Or would it be better to sit over coffee, and listen to each other?
I know we have some things in common. We are both human, and we are both breathing. We both probably have people we love and by whom we are loved. Probably we both like to be heard, and to have our opinions thoughtfully considered and respected.
So let’s do that, for each other, and for all the others.
We can make a difference. We can listen to each other, we can really hear each other. Even with disagreements, the solution or idea we develop together will most likely be better than the ones each of us started with.
Let’s encourage diversity of opinion. Let’s listen to each other with focus and concentration. Let’s work together to transform into a society where each individual is heard, respected, and treated with kindness.